Who approved this?

C and I are discussing the idea of getting a camper to tow behind the truck.  This would allow for more affordable and accessible vacations, with the bonus of avoiding flying (and the added stress and financial bullshit).  I think we'd be able to avoid flying for the most part...unless, of course, we were to go overseas.

When greeted by the prospect of that x-ray machine, which has a sole purpose of giving the agent at the screen either wank material or a case of the giggles, I know I'd opt for the pat-down.  That should be safer and less humiliating, right?

Maybe not.

 Now I'm facing a dilemma.  I know that I have at least one trip in my future that involves flying.  When dealing with the pat-down from hell, should I:

1. Act overly excited before being touched by the officer, moan and groan like I'm enjoying it too much, then ask them to continue/keep going/do it harder when they're getting close to the end?
2. Close my eyes, "lie back, and think of England?"
3. Scream (loudly) about bad touches in my no-no places, followed by hysterical crying?

I'm torn.

At least guys have a great way of making the agents uncomfortable:

(click to embiggen)

My cousin bought his first shotgun today. After examining everything in his price range he ended up taking home a Remington 870. I'm so proud I could pop right now.