When greeted by the prospect of that x-ray machine, which has a sole purpose of giving the agent at the screen either wank material or a case of the giggles, I know I'd opt for the pat-down. That should be safer and less humiliating, right?
Now I'm facing a dilemma. I know that I have at least one trip in my future that involves flying. When dealing with the pat-down from hell, should I:
- Act overly excited before being touched by the officer, moan and groan like I'm enjoying it too much, then ask them to continue/keep going/do it harder when they're getting close to the end?
- Close my eyes, "lie back, and think of England?"
- Scream (loudly) about bad touches in my no-no places, followed by hysterical crying?
At least guys have a great way of making the agents uncomfortable:
(click to embiggen)